Saturday, January 13, 2007

Round '07*

Booya. '07 in the hizz ouse.

Remember when your parents told you to enjoy your youth? To slow down and take a breath because those were our best years. We didn't listen. What the hell did they know? We ignored them and spent our days wasting it away playing Super Mario Bros. and dry humping anyone who would let you within groping distance.

Well I did anyway.

They knew. They knew that getting old sucks and that hours turn into days and days turn into years and years turn into back pains and polyp's and stretch marks and receding hair lines.

They knew but we didn't listen. We blew off school and slept all day and smoked dope and listened to Public Enemy when they sang"...Fight The Power!" and read comics and watched Rambo kick ass and jerked off to Cinemax even if it was scrambled.

Well I did anyway.

Some of you are saying huh? Wasn't Rambo like a knife or something and who the hell is "Public Enemy" and since when did you have to resort to scrambled Cinemax to jerk off? I just go online and type "Tits" into Google Images.

Now don't some of you feel old like me? Anyone? Anyone? "Bueller"? <---(another one that gets queer looks from 18 year olds.)

Its 2007 and do we really know what we are doing? When I was 16 I was a rebel and I knew for damn sure but now?

All I know is unless I am @ work or having a rectal exam, time flies and before I know it Green Day will be a Vegas Act and no one will have any idea who won "American Idol" last year. Actually I don't fuckin know who won last year and I don't give a shit.

Hey..maybe I am still kinda "Fighting the Power!" you know? Still rebelling a little as I get older. Yeah man. That's it, I'm going back to my roots. I am sleeping in tomorrow and gonna do Bong Hits for breakfast and call out of work.

Hell yeah....oh shit my back hurts and its nearly 8 pm. I got to go to bed so I can get up for work tomorrow. I cant miss any time the Boss will kill me. I think my girlfriend just caught me watching that Playboy Bunny show and she will probably kill me when she finds out I ate the last 17 of her Vicodans she had prescribed for the muscle tear she has. Its the couch for me for sure.

Damn, wonder if I can still tune in that Cinemax.......,

J to the K to the A



*the writer doesn't feel that old and his girlfriend doesn't have a muscle tear and she certainly wouldn't be angry if he watched Playboy Bunnies but he has been known to eat mass quantities of pills and one time he did admit to knowing who won "American Idol".

Then he smashed his testicles with a hot spatula as penance.

We forgave him.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

With 41 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes, and 32 seconds left until I turn 30 - yes I too feel OLD :( And sadly I got all your references. The whole "You're only as old as you feel" quote is bullshit...that is unless I'm really 102 years old right now...